I don't know if anyone's written up about London yet. I haven't looked. So I don't know what anyone else thought about Saturday night, I don't know what happened Sunday, and I don't know if anything was said about me. And to be totally honest, I'm not all that eager to find out.

So, Saturday. Got off to a shit start. I got a text on the coach asking if we could meet everyone at the hostel, which was impossible because neither of us could remember where it was, or even what it was called. So we agreed to meet at the Swiss Cottage tube station and hoped that we could figure out the tube. We met Rach and Kelly at Victoria, got the tube to Green Park to get to the Jubillee line, only to find that almost the entire line was out of service, so the Swiss Cottage station was closed for the weekend. So, after a conversation with a guy who worked onthe tube and for some reason decided not to tell us about the bus service that we later found out was running as a replacement, we started on a more complicated journey, and when we got to Euston I discovered a voicemail that had come through 20 minutes earlier, telling me that everyone was at Victoria. I almost screamed.

Things did start to look up when we reached the hostel tho. It was a very nice place, with very big rooms. And there was music and food and much swappage of makeup and accessories, which was nice. And cake. Muchos muchos cake. And I managed to make the bin bag outfit pretty quickly as well. The only downside was that I lost the black face paint, which I hadn't even opened, so I had to do the handprint with Jen's purple lipstick instead, which later on caused someone to think that someone had hit me. Also, whilst going to find a knife for the cake, I met an epic twat who asked me, as if he was just asking if I wanted to go for a drink or something, if I wanted to come up to his room and have sex with him. If only this was the first time that's happened.
The bar was gorgeous as well. And we realised that this is what LiveJournal looks like on the inside. No wires, no, just strange people in costumes. And CHEAP LAGER! Even if it was Carling, which really is horrible. And waiting for the bus afterwards, me and Jen attempted to entertain people with folk songs.

And then the night took a complete nose dive, and was mostly dominated by the thought of 'I just paid five pounds to get into the worst club I have ever seen'. I mean, for Christ's sake, I've had more fun in fucking Lava Lounge before. It was actually worse than I expected it to be, and we all know that I didn't exactly have high hopes. First there was the band; while I couldn't say they were total shite, I certainly didn't care for them. Would recommend they find a singer with a lower vocal range who didn't pretend to be spazed. And the the music afterwards; I am reliably informed that the DJ (who I actually remember seeing in the audience at the Cure, which was quite cool, and raises him above most people in that club iin my estimation) really did know his stuff, but the accoustics were so terrible that unless he played a song that I immediately recognised, I could barely distinguish each song from the one before or after it. For he first three songs I actually was enjoying myself, but then the terrible accoustics took over, and I found it physically almost impossible to actually make myself dance. Because it really was the kind of club where people come simply to be seen, and not to dance like lunatics and actually enjoy themselves, which is all me and Jen wanted to do. And the people who really dressed up in elaborate costumes as per the club's 'Stay Beautiful' theme, some of whom I think were the PR, were all up themselves, and didn't seem to realise that they actually looked fucking hideous. If I can make a literary comparison and show how much of an intellectual twat I am (but, hey, I'd rather be an intellectual twat than that kind of twat), they reminded me of the caracter of Mr Lovell in 'Evelina'; the fop who feigns that he has no idea what play he's just seen and pays to go to the theatre every night merely to show the rest of high society that he's still alive.
But either way, the point is, by about 1am I was so depressed that I wanted a drink more than anything, but knew that if I had one, I'd probably wind up coming back to the hostel weeping. So me and Jen left early.

Other than that, I think the less said about that night, the better.

Sunday, thankfully, was much much better. Me and Jen had a lovely breakfast in the hostel's conservatory, and then got the bus to King's Cross and the tube to Oxford Street, then got slightly lost and had to backtrack on ourselves when we realised we'd been going to wrong way to look for Soho. We had lunch in this gorgeous Japanese (I think) restaurant called Wok in a Box, which had really nice bean curd, and then realised that a thunderstorm had started while we were in there, so we waited a bit, and then ran to the next shop to buy an umbrella. And this shop had bowler hats and top hats (RED TOP HATS RED TOP HATS RED TOP HATS!!!!1!!), but unfortunately they were way too expensive for me to afford. So we went and had a walk round Chinatown, and went into some really cute kitsch shops to squee over the kawaii Japanese toys and things, and also saw Chinese lucky cats and other lucky statuettes, and REAL NUNCHAKU!!!!!!!!!
I was impressed,
Then we found Old Compton Street, which is the centre of the gay community, I'm told, and looked at some sexy art books, and other (actually less exciting) things in the book/sex shops, and we were about to go back to Oxford Street, when we turned a corner and found a drag queen with a microphone wandering around and shouting at people, then trying to get into a pub called Molly Moggs and finding that the customers had locked the door. She got back in, and we were debating whether or not to go in for a drink because it was packed, but we decided to go in, and basically spent an hour in hysterics. The drag queen, Miss Julie Paid, was absolutely hilarious. She teased members of the audience, and played a game with a straight accountant whose birthday was the day after, and who failed at this game, but they gave her a free bottle of champagne anyway, and sang loads of cabaret songs. It was brilliant. And the pub was such a friendly place too. It obviously had its regulars, because Julie Paid seemed to know a lot of them quite well, and a lot of them seemed to have in-jokes, but it was all very inclusive, and I felt so at home there, even tho I'd never heard of the place before I wandered in off the street. I really didn't want to leave, but we had to to get the coach back.

We were almost late, but fortunately the coach was delayed. And, less fortunately, overbooked, so instead of a proper coach, we went back on a double-decker bus with no toilet. And they stopped it just outside of the station because it turned out that no one knew whether or not it had been refuelled. But the journey itself wasn't too bad, we stuffed ourselves with deep fried food, and I was home by about 11:30.

So yeah, Soho has now been added to the List Of Places Down South That Emily Likes. Which is nice, because Cornwall was starting to get quite lonely there on its own.

Current Mood: anxious

The last time I was up at 7am, I hadn't been to bed.

Also, I only managed to make one pizza, because I wasn't going through that much stress for another, but luckily I thought to do the one without onions and mushrooms first. Also, the samosa (or supposed-to-be samosa) and spring roll recipes didn't make quite as much as I thought they would. And I forgot to make the bhajis. Fail!
Cake is good tho. Cake is very good.

We'll be there at 2! Look for the Strrong and Northern!

Current Mood: excited

I must have spent about two hours on these pizzas already and I haven't even got the first one done! And I still have all the spring rolls and the samosas and the bhajis and the icing for the cake still to make, and these were the things I thougth would give me least trouble becuase I've made them so many times before but they JUST WON'T GO RIGHT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flying visit because Jen's just left, and Harry delivered a seminar today which he says is more important than his entire undergraduate degree, so he's basically been out since 5pm getting hammered, and I'm planning on going and joining him.

I went to finally put my phone on charge so I could text him later and find out where he is, when I realised that my charger was not plugged into my adaptor. So I looked in my rucksack. And it wasn't there.
I've only left the bloody thing at my parents'.
So I panicked, naturally, because being phoneless for London would be a Very Bad Thing. And then I thought that maybe I could use the power lead to attach it to the laptop and charge it that way. So I looked in the drawer, and remembered that I have a spare charger, because of the time I lost one, got a new one, and then found it later in a bag.
I'm an odoit, basically. But it seems to be working for me.

Replies on my last posts will come, tonight if I don't finish eating by then, tomorrow if I'm off out before I have a chance.
I hope that made sense. My head is weird.

I did some more of my original ghost story thing today. Which is good, because it's an idea I absolutely adore and I want to make something of it.

And the cake is made but not iced. Will do it tomorrow when I make the pizza and the other things.
Speaking of which- Lu- I has question- is it just on pizzas and things when they're visible that you can't eat onions and mushrooms, or is it the taste in other things? I just need to know because of the spring roll recipes that I was gonna use them in.
Cheers.

Muuurgh, I can't be arsed to type any more.

Also, this is my bruise:


Edit: It's gone 12:15 and I haven't had a text back- I don't think I can be bothered tonight. I could go and see Chris at the election party, but I'm really not in the mood to get dressed again and go out now. Plus, I have £2 in my wallet now that I've taken out the money I owe Jen, and since I've just paid the gas bill and bought the IAMX tickets, I don't want to have to get any more out. And I just feel tired. I think I'll just stay in and write/play creepy homemade video games.

Current Mood: complacent

I feel like I should have something to offer, but I don't.
Just the strange and not-so-random events in the life of Em.

I went to rehearsal today, but we couldn't do my scenes because we lost half of the Lost Boys and Wendy. We just had Chess and Laura teasing each other and me looking quite amused. Two of the three missing Lost Boys didn't even send a mesage to say they weren't coming.
O well. I got to stand in for Wendy in the mermaid scene, so it wasn't a total loss.
And I'm in the RAG sketch show as well. In one sketch I'll be playing a poker player/dealer, which involves me learning an American accent, and in another sketch I'm a very dramatic action movie villain. I'ma send Harry some of my sketches too, once I've read through them again and vetted them for crapness.

London cake has been started. It just needs the fudge icing. Which I might do this evening or I might do tomorrow. Probably best if I do it this evening, but I just don't feel like doing anything now.
The chocolate buttercream went a bit stiff and not as good as last time, but I think it's turned out alright in the end.

Urgh, what happened to that productive happiness? Now I just feel like a rock.

Maybe I'll write something tonight. Any requests from anyone.
I've claimed a prompt for lgbtfest</lj>- The IT Crowd, Maurice Moss, Due to an oversight," Moss checks the boxes for both men AND women when signing up for an online dating site. He discovers his mistake shortly before going out on a date with an "Alex." When the date is over", he still doesn't know which gender Alex is, but finds that he doesn't care. Everyone else seems to, however...
I know I have a shedload to write anyway, but I just really liked this. And I think I'll have fun with it.

Oo, also, if no one minds, I'm trying to put together a standup routine for the open mic at the Student Comedy Festival, and I'd kind of like to test it with y'all this weekend.

Also, Hattie- I'm really sorry I didn't reply to your last post. I may yet, but it feels like it needs an epic answer, and my brain doesn't feel like it can think of one. I fail at thinking this evening. Sorry.

*sigh* Sorry for such a pointless post. I'll try and come back soon with something more interesting.
In the meantime, if anyone wants anything- short fics, songs, crappy pencil drawings, anything at all, let me know, ya.

Current Mood: indifferent

Yeah, I know I'm happy most of the time, but right now I've got a different kind of happiness going on. It's that really fulfilled, productive kind of happiness that is all the more rewarding because I seem to spend half my time trying to avoid it.

But yeah, last night I was quite tired after the blood donation (which wasn't anywhere near as smooth as last time, and I now have the most vivid bruise I have ever seen on my arm), so after Jen left I just decided to have some soup and curl up with my Bela Lugosi film, which was awesome. I mean, it had that strange look that old black and white films have, and maybe the plot was a little simplistic, but it did have a good plot, and it was entertaining, and Bela Lugosi is a legend, I've decided. And there was this scene that really got to me, where Neil is getting drunk after Madeline's death, and he sees her appear in front of him calling "Neil", and the shadows in the shot and the actor's posture and the swing music that was just so detached from the rest of the scene, and the shadows of people eating and dancing on the wall behind him gave it this atmosphere of repressed, hidden, torturous grief, and I thought it was really quite heartbreaking.
Yeah, I love old movies.

But then, I was really knackered by the time it finished, and it was only midnight, so I thought I'd get an earlynight foronce rather than staying up to play Five Days a Stranger. Which means that I got around 8 and a half hours sleep last night, instead of my usual five or so. Which means I got up earlier in the morning, had a proper breakfast, didn't have to rush and got to my lecture on time without having to run. So I felt really good after that.

And after hearing that Jamie can come to IAMX (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), I went down to Jack's Records to get the tickets. They iz safe in my wallet :-)

And I've just had a proper lunch, and in a bit I'll get started on that cake.

( The Imprudent Lamb )
This is not a parody. This is an actual children's story, written in 1839 by Anna Laetitia Barbauld.
Need I say more?

Anyway, yeah, I had a seminar on her and on Mary Wollstonecraft's 'Original Stories from Real Life' today, and pretty much everyone agreed that Mrs Barbauld wrote... erm... lovely stories. because nothing encourages 5-year-old kiddies to learn proper morals than basically implying that they will be ripped to shreds and eaten if they don't.

It was a funny seminar tho. Largely because of Joan. Joan is the token mid-fifties-or-so Christian mature student in the group. She's childlike by her own admission, and she really is quite funny. Case in point.
Angela: Sorry, I'm a bit tired. I've been giving lectures non-stop all day.
Joan: So have we.
Angela: No, I've been giving lectures.
Joan: We've been given lectures.
Angela: But you haven't been givING them!
Joan: Oh right... no. I don't know how you manage that.

And then
Angela: So, Emma, Emily and Joan...
Joan: My name's Joan.
Angela: I said Joan.
Joan: You said Charlene.

This is why I love student life.

I need to go get something from New Roots now, just so I've eaten enough for the blood donation. Ciao!

Current Mood: blank

First of all, remind me never to book blood donation appointments online. I asked for as close as possible to 1pm, or failing that, as close as possible to 4:30. And then I thought it would send me some choices, but instead it just gave me 3:45, no confirmation or anything. And I'm still in a seminar at 3:45. So I have to get 5:15. Which means a)waiting around the Union for an hour so I can donate, b)spending money to make sure I've eaten enough before I donate, and c)JEN HAVING TO COME ROUND LATER (I sent you a voicemail- I'm guessing you're teaching at this particular moment).
:-(
At least I have a good recovery rate.

Also, the Union market has been moved to Tuesday, I've just discovered. And I realise that I should not go in there. Because for one, I do not have the money to buy things, but also because I know I'll be compelled to come on here and complain about all the things I can't afford to buy, and won't do the reading I'm meant to have done. Again.
But (here we go) there was SO MUCH STUFF! And now it's better organised as well. For someone whose musical taste is somewhat apathetic, it would seem that I bloody know what I want. There were REM, Suede, Black Grape, Happy Mondays, Stone Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Manic Street Preachers albums to name but a few. And all for about £3.99. But I resisted.
And then I saw the DVDs. There were plenty of Doctor Who DVDs, including The Five Doctors, as well as Rollerball, Vic Reeves' Big Night Out, The Hound of the Baskervilles, the second series of Nighty Night, a Ziggy Stardust documentary thing, The Pit and the Pendulum, Animal Farm, and plenty more things that have slipped my mind. And I wanted them all.
So I relented. I told myself I could buy a £4 DVD.
Broke that one, got a £5 one instead. Because, y'know, i have no self control.
I got an old Bela Lugosi film called White Zombie, which looks like an old kitsch classic. Which I may never get a chance to watch *facepalm*

I fail.

Also, for my Romantic Child module, I've been reading 18th-century children's stories, including Anna Laetitia Barbauld's 'Little Stories for Children'. These are aimed at kids who are just about able to read, so about 5 or 6 years old, and they're all SO BLOODY MORBID. All but a select few end in death.
Bloody hell.

Current Mood: blah

Lol, I'm such a spammer.
I should be doing my reading for tomorrow. But I'm not. Maybe I'll do a bit now, then play Five Days a Stranger.

Title: The Sound of Pain and Love
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Characters/pairing: Anthrax/Ebola
Table: Angst
Prompt: #12 Cry
Rating: R
Warnings: More femslash and blood-drinking, but this time in a more violent, vampiric way.
Word count: 300
Summary: It's the cries that Anthrax likes best.
Notes: Another one, because I felt like it. Very descriptive, and a bit more explicit than the rest of the series so far.
I can't be arsed to link this to drabble123 yet, or to put it on ff net. Meh, I'll do it tomorrow. I still need to reply to all the reviews (well, there's about three that still need doing *facepalm*) on there.
I don't own the Boosh. I don't own Lady Dee, who will whip me if I suggest that I do. And I don't own Lady Sue, who will possibly find the sight of the whipping somewhat arousing. In my dreams.
Also, I'm still plugging the Femme Boosh round robin.

( She hovers over her, tracing the skin of that elegant long neck with the tips of her fangs. )

Current Mood: awake

Title: Beautiful
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Characters/pairing: Anthrax/Ebola
Table: Angst
Prompt: #3 Bleed
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Femslash, blood-drinking.
Word count: 300
Summary: Anthrax gets her fangs.
Notes: Sorry this is only just appearing here. I did mean to have it up last night.
I'm quite proud of this one. It did take a bit of editing, but it hasn't really lost any of it's essence, and I still think it gets across that dynamic so well. Um... I don't really have much to say about it besides that.
And I'm still plugging the round robin, because I just would like more than four players. *sigh*

( One side of Anthrax's mouth pulls into a sly smile and she bares her teeth. )

Current Mood: chipper

I will put up my latest drabble here at some point soon. Just let me eat first!
And argh, I meant to just reply to a few things and go cook, but now everybody's here and I'm drawn into about three billion conversations.
WHY CAN'T THIS HAPPEN AT 2AM?

Anyhoo...

London food
I went shopping today. I've managed to get everything but the water chestnuts, which I'm thinking I can replace with lettuce because they both have a crunchy texture and not that musch taste, so that's fine, and the filo pastry, which is very much not fine. I tried Somerfield, Beanies, the Co-op and the scuzzy frozen food place, and nowhere had it. In fact, apart from the scuzzy frozen food place, nowhere had anything other than shortcrust.
But I'm thinking I'll make the cake on Wednesday because I know it'll keep that long, then everything else on Friday so I can make the spring rolls, bhajis and samosaswhile the pizza bakes, and I can do them all in the same oil.
I've gotten cane sugar, because I've been told that regular sugar isn't actually vegan, but I've still got a bit of the regular stuff left, so I'm gonna have to finish it, but I won't be buying any more. I've got some rice flour as well for the bhajis, which is wheat-free, and I'll be using that in everything else too. But I have some regular flour left as well, so the cake'll probably be made with a mixture of the two.
Also, Beanies have some felafel for about £1.20, which I'll get if anyone wants. They're wheat-free as well, and I know Lu said she wanted to try some at some point.
While I was there too, I noticed that not only do they sell dairy-free chocolate spread, they sell ORANGE FLAVOURED dairy-free chocolate spread! And it's only about £2 or so a jar! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a less high note, I also realised why I don't do big food shops very often. I walked back from town centre to Crookes with a bag full of food, and when I got in I felt like my arm was going to fall off. I looked on Google maps, and have since realised that this distance is over two miles.

London costume
I bought some masking tape for the bin bag, because it's easier to find than gaffer tape.
Got some black face paint too, which I'll bring along with my silver if anyone wants to use it. (I'm also wishing that Pete hadn't run off with my blue :-( )
Also, I'll just bring every accessory and piece of jewellery I own. I don't think I'll be wearing any for once, because I don't have any cuffs or anything, so help yourself to whatever you like. Just don't steal it ;-D

IAMX
Haven't bought the tickets yet, but I'll email the Forge tonight to ask about reviewing it. I will get them before Saturday, but I just want to know if I'll be able to get in free if I review.

A few messages for a few people
Jen- any chance you could get me some filo pastry? I can't find it anywhere, and I thought they might have some at Morrisons or something. I need about 32 sheets, so I'll give you the money for them.
Also, are you still up for the Cure special at Offbeat on Friday night, or would you rather stay in? I'm cool with either.
Jamie- Any word on you coming to IAMX? It's on April 16th, which I think is a Thursday, but I've never known a gig go on too late, and my guess would be that this'll finish sometime between 10 and 11pm. And tickets are only £9. If you don't know, I'll get 2 tickets, and if you can come and I have to buy my own to review, I'll just buy another one later.
Bryony- Is it just regular onions you're not huge on, or should I avoud spring onions too?
Tamsin- I love your picspams as much as the next person, but would you mind just putting up a few teaser images and putting the rest behind a cut, or at least not putting them all in one continuous line, because it's irritating having to scroll sideways to read my friends page. Cheers luv.
ANYONE- anything you hate on a pizza, just so's I know?

Erm... I think that's it.
I need some food, but first I have a shedload of comments to reply to.

Current Mood: hungry

Last Laugh last night was, as expected, epically brilliant. Jason Cook is touring the Antipodes, so obviously couldn't be there, but Toby Hadoke more than made up for it. He's got this amiability, and it always gets me just how friendly and how cutting he can be at once. And the way he makes fun of himself is pure hilarity.
Tony Burgess was really good as well. In fact, had it not been Sarah Millican who followed him, I would have thought that he should have headlined. But as it was, he was easily headliner quality in a first act. So we won twice XD
And Sarah Millican was just made of fantastic. As usual. I know I always say remember the name of Jason Cook, but remember her too, because she is one of the funniest people I have ever seen. Some of her act was exactly the same as the last time I saw her, but I don't really care because it is such a funny act. And there was some hylarious new stuff as well.
I need to make icons for Toby Hadoke and Tony Burgess I think. Which means it'll take more time to do that icon post.
'I'd make smoke with Toby Hadoke' and 'I'd say yes to Tony Burgess'- are these shit texts?

I really want to do my Cure writep when I have more time, but I don't know how long Dad'll be with emailing the pictures. He can take ages over this kind of thing, and sometimes forgets altogether unless you badger him every 3.4 seconds.

And I meant to update To Her Dark Mistress on here today, but haven't yet. I had the rage again last night, and I really wasn't in the mood for it. The latest is on ff net tho, if anyone wants to go see. I updated it at about 8pm, because I'd expected to update here later, and I wanted to catch the ff net evening traffic, because people don't generally hang around there at 3am.

And I've come to the disappointing but very predictable conclusion that Five Days a Stranger is far less of a challenge second time round. I'm on day four already. Still an epic game tho. I'ma download all of them and play them again. Now I can appreciate the overarching narrative :-)

And I've got me shopping list for London food. Doesn't actually look like it'll come to too much if I spend carefully, which is good.
Hello Somerfield!

I'd best be off, I reckon. My lecture's in half an hour, and I really should put some clothes on.
(Yes, I am aware of the time. I'm lazy alright.)

Current Mood: busy

Just gotten back home from the parentals'.
It was so warm and sunny as we drove back. The blue sky and the sunshine on the trees and old buildings and a song about missing childhood gave me this weird but very comfortable nostalgic feeling. I'm getting that a lot lately. It reminded me of last summer. Hot summer. Upper Beechwood. The gardens at Crewe Flats. Barbecues in the garden. Melting Divine chocolate over a fire. The Botanical Gardens. Carnival. Attractions on the concourse. The last Asylum Comedy Show. True freedom. Free from responsibilities of revision and exams. Free from lectures and seminars and appointments and places to be. Freedom to be lazy. Freedom to just exist.
I know I'll get that again this summer, with the weather and Carnival and things like that, but it won't be as close as it was last year. I'm just not as close to Helen and Ellis as I was to the Beechwood crew.
But then, it hit me as we were driving that while I'll never have last summer back, there are so many new things that I'll get to do this summer, some of which I'll get to do again in the future, and some that I never will. Summer in my first place of my own, however loosely that term applies to me. Vegan picnics with Jen (actually outside this time). Being together without freezing. Alton Towers with the Family.
I'm going to makwe this summer good. Better than last year. It deserves that.

Right, back onto more practical subjects:
Things Emily grabbed from her parents' house which she will bring to London:
*Monty Python's Flying Circus, series 1-4
*Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, series 1-4
*Fawlty Towers, series 1-2
*Beavis and Butt-head, volume 1
*The X-Files, season 1 episodes 5-8 (just in case anyone felt like something different)

I also have an urge to watch The History Boys again, because it's awesome. Which makes me wonder- everyone knows about American high school comedies, and everyone knows which ones are the most famous and supposedly the best. Everyone knows Clueless and Mean Girls and all that schtumpf. But what about British high school comedies? Why do people never think of The History Boys like that? Or Gregory's Girl? Those are amazing films. I always feel they have more depth than the American ones, personally. They have more soul to them. But then, I appreciate their subtlety, which is probably what makes them so different to the American films.
Anyway, I'm also finally planning to listen to Blak Sabbath, because Ozzy just is a genius. I was playing Guitar Hero the night before last and I discovered that Mr Crowley is made of awesome.
On a completely different note (lol, bad pun), REM's Find the River just came on, and I've realised that that song perfectly describes this nostalgic feeling I've been getting. It has an idyllica about it, yet also a sadness. A hopefulness and a longing. Light and warmth, and loss and inferiority. It's beautiful.

Also:
Things Emily has done since retunring home:
*Dumped things on the floor
*Put on music
*Emailed lost film piece (at last! I don't even know if it's on time)
*Written this
*Downloaded Five Days a Stranger because I want to play it again
*Opened the curtains for the first time in weeks

Current Mood: cheerful

Seriously. I don't know what it is. My attention span has gone down to the level of a gnat. My mind won't focus. My dad's brightened up the Cure pics, but I can't do a writeup because I don't think I could make myself concentrate on one thing for that long.

It isn't good really, because I've written my lost film piece on Dark City for the Forge, but it's a bit over the word limit and it needs proofreading, and I can't make myself go back and edit it. I'll have to do it tomorrow and send it then.

I can't write anhything. My mind id not in a deep, wordy place. It's in an energetic. violent place. This place is full of chains. Only they're not holding me down. I'm wearing them like some very large heavy-duty jewellery, and I can use them to attack anyone who tries to undermine me or my sense or right of self.
This is why some parts of me should never come too close to the surface- they're vehemently defensive, and they very much do not like being told what to do or how to be. They're so vehement that they have fantasies about extreme violence, assault, even cold-blooded murder. I'd hate to think what would happen if I lost control of myself in this mood. I know I'm small and I'm hardly powerful physically, but if I got so angry that I lost control when I was in this mood, I'm sure I could be fairly dangerous, especially with some kind of weapon.
My mind is full of heated emotion, it could swing any way at any second, and it could explode at the slightest triger. And my body is full of energy. It's a state of mind that isn't articulate enough to rant- it just wants to do. And it wants to do the first available thing. It wants to fight. It wants to shout. It wants to stamp on things. It wants to dance in a way that says "come too close and I will knock you down". It wants to cause destruction.
It won't let me write or sleep. I doubt it can be distracted too easily. I need to release all this energy. There's only two ways I can think of doing that right now. One would be very much helped by playing The Cooper Temple Clause or some ofthat Blind Guardian or whoever they are, very very loudly, hich ain't gonna happen becuase it's 1:15am. The other is actually starting to sound very appealing.

I got my dad three bottles of beer- a Peroni (and one for him for tonight and one for me), a Dark Lord, because we're Tolkien geeks and I like the name, and a Goliath, because it was cheap and I don't think he's had one before. Still need to write his card.

Today I was reminded of hilarious that my brother did when he was younger. And now I can't remember what it was. Which is pissing me off because I'm sure you'd find it hilarious and I wanted to share.

But anyway, just because, this is the latest big thing in my family.
( MARMOTS! )I hope I'm calming down now.

Current Mood: aggravated

I've discovered that the rucksack is slightly cumbersome to run with. Solution: um... keep running anyway? It isn't really that far to the train station. If I leave just before half past, I should be alright, I think.

I want some food. People around me are eating food. It smells nice. But I can't have any food because the food I have is to keep me going on the train, and getting any more than that would involve the spending of money.
Have actually spent £6.69 today. Because the Last Laugh is not negotiable. End of. Especially when Sarah Millican AND Jason Cook are on. Also, got a birthday card for the papa, with a cartoon of Ratty and Mole from 'The Wind in the Willows' complaining about Jeremy Clarkson.

No one wants or needs to know this...

Anyway...
IZ 'CITED NAO!!!!!!!!!!

Also, Lu, I've told my dad that I might be able to meet him before the gig if we're there early enough, or possibly after, somewhere around the arena. I said I'd text him, so it's half a matter of chance, really. Hopefully, I'll be able to find him.

Seminar in 15 minutes. Better leave soon- if I'm leaving early, I'd rather arrive early too.

Current Mood: busy

To celebrate The Cure, basically.
Tho I go on a bit first. You might find that amusing. Or you might not.

Yeah, I know, password-locked video in a public post. Tbh, I don't really care who sees these, but I just want people to see them within the blog.
Anyway, password is 'fascination'.

Also, I made this before I saw your eeenteresting conversation about this issue of NME. I haven't listened to the CD yet. But I have high expectations for the Editors track.
I think I just love covers, really.


Let's hit opening time from Emily Cresswell on Vimeo.

I've also written a drabble, which I'd like to have up tonight, but I don't want to be on too long becuase I have reading to do. And I need to make lunch and train food for tomorrow because I won't have time in the morning. But anyway, yeah, I really like my new drabble, and it'll be ready to post once it's lost 16 words.

Current Mood: accomplished

USLES rehearsal started five minutes ago, and I'm still at home. Buuuut... I'm not in the first half. I don't really want to move. There's no real reason i should be there. Chess told me earlier today she's not going. She didn't go Monday either. We're in all the same scenes.
But something's telline me I should go just to see what's going on.
But something else is telling me I have work to do.

Argh.

So ff net is working again, as the 18 people who have me on alert and who probably don't even use the site any more now know.

I've been looking through this reader traffic thing, seeing what people read.

My stories with the most visitors:
Childhood's Thief- because Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy is a bigger archive than Boosh.
To Her Dark Mistress- because it's new. Tho the fact that people do actually read femfic and aren't all blind to anything that isn't Howince does warm me.
Remove Before- crossdressing!porn.
Previously Posted Elsewhere- varied!old!badly-written!porn.
God Bless You, Please, Mr Moon- AU!uber-kinky!porn.
Anyone noticing a trend...?

In the Dark drabbles with the most hits:
Dark Desires (Animals)- the kinky one.
My Lover's Bed (One Bed)- nothing naughty, but teasing and play-spanking.
Moonlight (Under the Gaze of the Moon)- the Moon talking about Howard and Vince getting off. Basically snogging and humour.
No More Lonely Nights (Proximity)- clingy Vince and cuddling and humour.

Ratio of hits, Remove Before chapter 1 (porn): chapter 2 (non-porn)- 25:14

Previously Posted Elsewhere chapters, in rank order of hits:
Meant to Be a Joke- largely speculative spanking.
Play- vaguely (very vaguely) well-written spanking.
Untitled WRONGness- does what it says on the tin! Perverted!uber-wrong!should-never-be-seen-by-human-eyes-again!why-did-I-write-this?!zombie!rape.
If You Were Mine- shit!rolepay and spanking.
Untitled Saboo/Moss crack- possibly actually my favourite of the five.

Once again Emily wolfs down a meal and wishes she could have another one.
I have an urge for sweet food. Maybe I could knock up some chocolate icing and just eat it with a spoon...

Speaking of food, may have been slightly ambitious about London food. Shopping list so far:

• Packet of onions
• Chickpea flour
• Rice flour
• Turmeric
• Mustard seeds
• About 34 sheets of filo pastry
• White cabbage
• Water chestnuts
• Beansprouts
• Red pepper
• 2 spring onions
• Soy sauce
• Rice vermicelli noodles
• Carrots
• Mushrooms
• 2 Thai red chilli peppers
• Curry paste
• Frozen peas
• Moar icing sugar
• Moar plain sugar

Okay, so first I shouldn't be on here because I have a seminar in just over an hour and I haven't done all the reading for it, but I just felt like I should post this.

So I went to see the LGBT committee's little exhibition thing in the Source today. It isn't much- just three boards about the past, present and future of the LGBT, but for some reason it just felt totally inspirational.
It had a timeline showing when homosexuality and transgender was acknowledged, criminalised and decriminalised, when laws and amendments were passed and groups set up, with quotes and pictures of gay figures. There was a bit about the status now, about Civil Partnerships and adoption rights and lesbian access to IVF treatment and the  right to change your legal gender, and how homosexuality is regarded all over the world- from places like Canada, where gay couples can actually get married, rather than just have a Civil Partnership, to places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, where homosexuality is still punishable by death. And there was a bit about the future, about how there are still things that need to change in this country, from big things like gay marriage actually being marriage and not just the gay equivalent, to an end to homophobic bullying in schools where it's most rife and a lift on the ban on gay and bisexual men giving blood, to the small things like "gay" not being used as an insult any more. And about the changes that still need to be made elsewhere in the world, like the decriminalisation of homosexuality in every country, and giving gay couples the exact same rights as straight couples all over the world.
It wasn't really much, but I just felt really inspired and proud looking at it.
I dunno why, maybe it's to do with the fact that I'm not exclusively homosexual or that I don't really get that involved with the LGBT or that I still feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about my own sexuality, however out I am with everyone else, but normally I don't really feel like I've got this sort of place within or connection to the queer community, but when I was looking at that exhibition, I just started feeling this pride that this is about me, that I'm part of all these changes and movements, and what the events of the past have done for me. I felt like a real, genuine, bone fide queer, when a lot of the time I do feel like I wouldn't be entirely welcome in that community because of not being totally homosexual or totally transgender. It just felt so good, like really having my own place in this spiritual community, knowing my own history and my own part to play in the future. It was just this huge amazing feeling of I am part of the queer community.

I don't know why I posted this. It just hit me and it felt amazing, and I just really really wanted to share. It feels important.

Also, while I'm here, I'm really sorry I haven't had time to reply to people's posts lately.